8.5 years ago I started a journey that changed my whole life.

Somehow, I had no doubts or fears about starting a business that involved makeup and skincare which I knew nothing about. Even though I enjoyed things about business, I didn’t really think that I would ever have my own business.

So it really seems like a crazy chance that I took when I started my Mary Kay business as a skincare and makeup consultant.

I quickly fell in love with the opportunity that fell into my lap. I loved being able to make extra money. I loved interacting with smart, beautiful women that were on a mission to do more with their lives. I loved meeting new people and making them feel beautiful and important when they were in my presence.

As with other direct sales companies, there was opportunity for growth and to move up. Growing with the company meant helping other women build something for themselves.

I was always so touched by all of the stories that I heard about consultants starting with nothing, to building a successful business and achieving bigger dreams than they ever thought were possible. I wanted that. I wanted to help others achieve their dreams.

I saw Mary Kay as my best opportunity to reach women and to inspire them to have more. I wanted so badly to tell everyone about this amazing opportunity that could change their lives. I’m so thankful for everyone that ever let me tell them about it and especially the ones that joined me.

I was so lit up by the things that I achieved in my business and the future success that I could see.

But a few years ago, that light started to dim. I think a lot of factors contributed to it, but the biggest one is that I stopped being honest with myself.

My dream was to be a director so that I could help others have more in life and know that they were capable of having more. Deep down I knew that I wanted to help others outside of Mary Kay, but I was ashamed to admit it and I was ashamed of quitting.

I really didn’t want to quit. Direct sales is hard and can get a bad rep. I didn’t want to be another ‘failed’ consultant. I didn’t want to not achieve my dreams because I feared that someone might see me and think that if I couldn’t do it, then they wouldn’t be able to. I know that direct sales can work. Anything can work if you work at it. I just didn’t want to work at it anymore and felt guilty admitting that.

Over the past few months, I’ve finally been closing out my business and letting people know that I won’t be a consultant any more. It’s been really hard for me to admit that I’m done with it.

When I first had thoughts of closing my business, I really felt like I had failed. So many people have supported me along the way and I feel like I’ve let them down. I was disappointed in myself for not achieving the dream that I had set out for myself. The dream that I thought I had so badly wanted.

I’ve realized not achieving my dream of becoming a Mary Kay Director is ok. I’ve realized that my decisions for my life are not about other people. I don’t have to carry things around that don’t serve me anymore.

Mary Kay has taught me so much and I am forever grateful. Having my business was such an important chapter in my life. Without it, I wouldn’t have so much of the confidence, knowledge and skills that are so necessary for my future.

Letting go of my business does not mean I failed. Letting go of my business means that I tried something, put my best effort into it and decided it was not for me. I made the decision to move forward in another direction in my life. I realized that I could not hold on to a dream that I no longer wanted in order to make space to achieve the bigger dream that will really feed my soul.

I’m not sure if anyone can relate, but if you are holding on to anything that doesn’t serve you anymore, it’s ok to let go. You grow and change throughout life and that is normal. Just because you decide that something isn’t for you any more doesn’t mean that you failed or weren’t successful. It means that you are being honest with yourself and are really ready to move towards what you were meant to do.

Be YOU. BeYOUtiful. 💖